Life changes can be the most difficult decisions to make, even if they seem simple on the surface. This was the reality I faced for way too long. Knowing that I needed to change and finding the courage to actually hold myself accountable  and face my fears was nearly unbearable for me. 

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Change was hard. This was even harder for me because I was living with severe anxiety, depression and anger issues in silence for most of my life. It controlled me and put a stranglehold on my ability to see a better tomorrow. I grew up as a black kid in Philadelphia who was adopted at a very early age. My parents were white and I wrestled with finding my true identity. For 40 years I never knew why I was adopted or who my family was. In a nutshell I had no idea who I really was. All I knew was that I didn’t fit in anywhere and hated the idea of being different or being judged. To mentally survive I felt I needed to always change how people saw me to fit into any situation. It was more a way of trying my best to become invisible. I learned to fit into any social scene (even though I was dying inside from anxiety), converse with any group of people and seem comfortable with a smile on my face when the pain I was feeling was nearly unbearable. I hid from the world. I did this so much that I lost my true self. This only got worse through my adult life. I was lucky enough to marry the most amazing woman in the world who I had three awesome kids with. But I was blinded with feelings of inadequacy due to my anxiety, depression and anger issues.

 

For nearly 10 years I was “STUCK” in a corporate Recruiting/HR position that I hated. But as a family man I felt the need to provide and support at all costs.  Since I was successful in this position it became my identity. I felt the need to obsess over the one area of my life that I felt I had control over. But in reality it had control over me. I would work 50+ hours a week. I was the first one in and the last one to leave. I felt my happiness was tied to the end of quarter numbers and the company bottom line. The only area that made me happy at work was my love for helping people. This passion was quickly contradicted by the reality that the people I was hiring and helping were looked at and treated as numbers and expendable resources. I became more anxious, more depressed and more angry inside. I eventually lost my job and fell into a very dark place. I had lost my identity. I had lost my confidence. I had lost my sense of purpose. And this was slowly causing me to lose my family. I felt myself sinking into the unseen quicksand of darkness. Everything I tried to do to pull myself out blew up in my face and made it worse. I would push away the people that loved me with the denial that anything was wrong. And when confronted with my suffering I became angry and my anxiety would manifest into physical sickness and ailments. At this point in my life I truly wondered how it could get any worse. Then the pandemic hit. Now my anxiety, depression and anger had a face. They had credibility. In all honesty I was kind of irritated that the rest of the world was just now experiencing what I was going through. Fear, worry, isolation and the options of a normal life being taken from them.  I had a ritual of being depressed and anxious while laying in bed, getting tired of lying in bed, getting out of bed and turning on the news… only to get depressed and anxious from the pandemic news and lay back down in bed. 

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One day I was on social media and saw a Tony Robbins Webinar. I clicked on it and my life changed forever. I realized that life wasn’t happening to me but for me. I realized that I was meant to help others and until I did that I would not find the happiness I was seeking. I decided to dedicate my time to study and become certified multiple times as a coach in order to tell my story and help people who were suffering like I was. I sought additional help for my mental health issues and in turn, embraced them, to live a complete life with all the emotions it means to be human. They are part of me but they don’t control me. Through help from my wife I was able to locate and reconnect with my birth family and better understand my history. I embraced my life and my experiences growing up which gave me the ability to relate to and connect with anyone. Being an advocate for employee rights and retention at my job led me to losing it which was a blessing in disguise. And learning to be vulnerable (like right now) allowed me to have a better relationship with my wife and kids. I believe I have a calling to help others find their joy. To be the battle scarred hand that reaches down to pull you up from your unseen quicksand of darkness. To be the one to say I feel your pain. I have been there and I believe in you. I accept you exactly where you are in life and know that your past is not your future. Your reality is in your mindset. If you can flip your mindset you can flip your reality. I would love to assist you in that journey. 

I, as one of my mentors said, am a Recovering Worrier. My obsession now is my determination to take YOU from Worrier to WARRIOR! Lets Flip your Reality together! 

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Studied at Philadelphia University in the ​field of Occupational Leadership. Completed coach training and certification at Robbins-Madanes Training under teachers, Tony Robbins, Cloe Madanes, Mark Peysha, and Magali Peysha. Certified as an elite life coach through The Coach Mindset with Mitch Matthews and became a Certified Master Coach through the Transformation Academy. I am a Career and Personal Growth Coach focusing on overcoming limiting beliefs to unleash the true you.